“I had a vivid flashback of you today…it was spring. We were happy. You smiled, and I went in to hug you. I swear…I could smell you…It felt like home.”
Well…here’s my ‘glorious’ return to blogging, I guess. Nearly a year later, and so much has changed. At the beginning of the year, my ‘great’ boyfriend revealed that six months prior, he had cheated on me. With the worst possible person I could imagine. And while everyone around me said, ‘At least he told you”…I just wanted to laugh. And cry. Because who does that to someone? Who betrays them in the worst possible way? Who makes someone believe their crazy when they get that weird feeling like someone isn’t right…but they are the crazy ones. I will NEVER. EVER. make someone feel like that. But I guess that’s my burden in life.
Quick run-down of my 2010 so far: Winter: one of the harshest in my life, ever. Physically…emotionally…mentally. Arg. Its painful to think about it again. I was miserable. It was all blizzards and heartbreak (hello, awesome title of song).
Spring: things start turning around. I didn’t cry as much…and work was awesome. Had a new hire to take the crap jobs off my hands, and I got to go to Hawaii. Twice within a period of a month. Started feeling like my old self.
Summer: a haze. It was my last semester in Grad school. Most Friday nights were spent in the library. I’m not proud of it, but hey, I’m 26 and now have my Master’s from Georgetown.
Fall: Travel once a month for work. Hanging out with new friends. Weddings galore. Well, really, only two. And one was in August, so I don’t know if that counts or not. And plus…I’m writing this in October. Definitely still fall. So……..I’m a work in progress. Things have gotten better. Hey, I got to go to Hawaii again last week for work. I know, I know…go ahead and hate me. But honestly, it was different this time. I was like…jaded or something. And sick. And got a laceration on my foot from surfing. And found out, thanks to a lovely co-worker, that the ex is now dating my ex-roommate’s (and his) sister. Its just…funny how someone who once said they wanted to wanted to marry you, then hurt you, can move on so quickly. Funny.
Alright. No more Debbie Downer. I’m excited to be done with school…although terrified to try for a job in PR. Besides, I love my current job. My customers are awesome, I’m still being challenged, and hello, I get to go to awesome places. Also, I’ve been hanging out with high school friends lately, which I also love. Its not that I long for ‘glory days’, its just…we all have this bond. We grew up in this great place, at a great time, and have wonderful memories of it. It makes me love being around these people all the time because we GET it. We just get each other, probably like no other people. Its refreshing. And it warms my heart.
In other news, I get to see the greatest person I know this weekend! AND its the second time this month! That’s right, Mandy will be here!!! WOO HOO!! Honestly, I feel bad for people who don’t have someone like Mandy in their lives. Someone who lights up your day with just their laugh. Who understands you, but calls you on your bullshit. Who challenges you in ways you never see. And who will tell you you’re beautiful and lovely, even when you’ve been crying for days on end. People who don’t have someone like must be left wanting. I’m sorry they don’t have a Many.
Some friends from work and I joined a Skeeball league. HA! Tonight was the second game of the season, but my first. And it was fun. And I was awful! But it was nice talking to new people…putting yourself out there. I’ve really missed that. For the past two years, I was in a bubble. Now, I’m branching out on my own (well, with friends), and I love it. After all, isn’t life about hiding and retreating. I’m in my mid-20s. I need, should be living my life. And its about time I get back to it.
So that’s my glorious return. Sorry its a bit of a downer…but its the truth. However, I’m thinking about trying something new. Like, a project on here or something. Something celebrating everyday life. Its a work in progress, but I’ll get back to you soon. In the mean time, I’ll leave you with what I used to do. An album I love:
I fell in love with this album in undergrad. Its haunting and beautiful and….perfect. I just started following Joe Firstman on Twitter, and he has some great new material out. Anyway, its hard for me to pick a favorite on this album…but I’d have to say…I love “Car Door”. I just love the tortured, hopeful yet depressing sounds on this album. Its a great one, for sure.
Much love to my 2 readers. Sorry about the lack of posting this past year. I promise to be better.
*BIG HUGS*
I may just steal that song title.
PS – Let’s get drinks some time!